InArkansas.com

From left, Craig Lair, Michael Johnson, Brian Wiedower, Dwayne Cox and Ren Creighton wear champion jackets from Golfapalooza.

Golfapalooza champion Brian Wiedower kisses the trophy.

Possum Classic champion Jeff “Vokey” Voyles holds trophy with photo of Jack Nicklaus in background.

Possum Classic participants, from left, Jerry Lorio, Steve Snider, Jeff Hankins, Al Thomas, Gary Jones, Barry Brandt and Jeff Voyles with their waiter at the Rendezvous restaurant in Memphis.

Jeff Hankins, left, presents Al Thomas the Possum Classic’s
“Ryder Moving Day” trophy.

Possum Classic winner Mark Halbert models the champion’s leisure suit.

About four weeks before departure, e-mail activity escalates among the golf trip guys. The back-and-forth includes lamenting about lack of practice, news of game-changing equipment purchases, gentle reminders about the victory that got away last year, debate over the annual tweaking of the scoring system and, of course, possum sightings.

“My wife and I were running around Valley Club Circle when we both smelled something, and only a few steps later she nearly stepped on a huge, dead possum,” reported KATV meteorologist Barry Brandt, a founding member of the Possum Classic, as tournament time neared. “One eye was closed, one open — I think in a sort of knowing ‘wink,’ even in death, to this year’s eventual champion.”

The Possum Classic. Golfapalooza. The All Lights Out Tour. The Hawg Dawg Tex Invitational. The Hewit: “He-man Womanhaters Invitational Tournament.”

Every great golf trip tradition starts with a great name that’s usually conjured up among a few close friends. Golfers with similar interests are recruited, with some groups limited to two foursomes and others much larger.

Then, once a year, the brotherhood leaves women and children behind and ventures to a favorite golf destination for a long weekend away. The bonds that bring a group together vary — church friendships, college or fraternity buddies, family, the country club gang. Three days packed with at least 90 holes of golf, a couple of dinners and shared accommodations lead to stories and traditions that rival any deer camp or duck hunting club.

Al Thomas of Heber Springs was practicing law in Little Rock when he and some friends in 2000 organized the first Possum Classic, named in honor of a fraternity party. The group is ultracompetitive on the golf course, but its purpose is for participants to encourage one another as husbands, fathers and believers of Christ. Venues have ranged from the Robert Trent Jones Golf Trail to Dancing Rabbit Golf Club. Four-time champion Jeff “Vokey” Voyles of Little Rock, a longtime financial adviser and owner of Burge’s Hickory Smoked Turkeys and Hams, and two-time champion Dr. Jerry “J-Lo” Lorio, an orthopedic surgeon in central Arkansas, are among the founding members.

Perhaps the most famous executive golf trip was known as America’s Lights Out Tour, whose members called themselves Alotians and set out to play the best golf courses in America in four-day, stroke-play tournaments. The name of the most exclusive golf course in Arkansas — The Alotian Club — was coined from the group, whose membership included the course’s owner, Little Rock financier Warren Stephens. Not surprisingly, the All Lights Out Tour would likely rank as the ultimate golf trip with corporate jet transportation to far-flung resorts, compared with the more typical loaded-down SUVs and five-hour drives.

Traditions & Personality

For the majority of golf trip groups, participants creatively develop traditions and conditions that give each a unique personality. Most players earn nicknames. Participants have been known to leave for a golf trip even with a baby due to arrive any day or days after the birth of a child.

At Golfapalooza, established in 1998, participants play five Hot Springs Village courses over three days. A couple of golfers traditionally wear 1970s attire, and one round features a group with hired caddies dressed in white coveralls like one would see at Augusta National Golf Club. Little Rock lawyer and financial adviser J.J. Childers is the common thread with both of those traditions, and insiders say it’s typical behavior of a player who otherwise might never distinguish himself in the group as, say, tournament champion.

The annual Hawg Dawg Tex Invitational treks to Biloxi, Miss., and started with Ron Bruton — director of membership for Lindsey Management’s golf courses in central Arkansas — and his brother and friends from their hometown of Camden. Now in its 20th year, it brings together more than 100 golfers.

“My brother Jeff lives in Georgia, thus the Dawgs, and a couple of our buddies we grew up with in Camden now live in Texas, so we have the Hawg Dawg Tex,” Bruton explains. “We play a tournament format that includes individual and team competition, with the team winner getting naming rights for next year’s tournament and everyone either calling the Hawgs, barking with the Dawgs, or singing ‘The Eyes of Texas.’

“This year we have 104 players coming from seven states. It is a great time to play winter golf and see old friends, and the seafood is an added bonus.”

Food Destinations

Ah, the food. It’s an element critical to the success of a golf trip that must be factored in when plotting travel times and destinations. The most successful trip maximizes golf play while ensuring visits to key restaurants such as the Rendezvous in Memphis (don’t even think about asking the waiter for separate checks), Doe’s Eat Place in Greenville, Miss. (if you can still eat after walking through the kitchen to reach your table), The Rib Shack in Corinth, Miss., or Rosie’s Mexican Cantina (the shrimp burrito is a must) in Florence, Ala.

Some great golf trip destinations, like Dancing Rabbit Golf Club in Philadelphia, Miss., and The Links at Cottonwoods in Tunica, Miss., offer convenient access to after-golf activities, such as casinos.

Then there are others, such as the amazing Old Waverly Golf Club, a privately owned getaway in West Point, Miss., that has a traditional country club atmosphere — except for its firm policy against gambling. One group learned the hard way just how serious Old Waverly is. Instead of the usual poker chips, the guys hung out at the men’s locker room card table and used Q-tips instead. Suddenly a woman burst onto the scene to let them know she knew what was going on. They mused why gambling was off-limits but women were allowed in the men’s locker room.

Keeping Score

The golf competition itself features any number of formats and pairings. Virtually every golf trip must have a CPA as a participant because scoring systems are downright complicated and require spreadsheets. With varying levels of players, commissioners want to make sure they adequately challenge (i.e. mathematically eliminate from winning) the low-handicap golfer and give the weakest golfer of the group ample opportunity to shake up things at the top when he suddenly has a career round.

Handicap calculations are an ongoing subject of consternation among golf trip members, as illustrated in this Possum Classic exchange:

“I’d like to thank the past champion for trying to manufacture his handicap by making up scores from who knows where, with additions and subtractions as he so desired, and presenting such a convoluted and unreliable calculation of his handicap that our esteemed handicap chairman threw up his hands and scrapped the entire revision [which happened to be based on my accurate handicap that was verified by his law partner and five accounting firms], thus defeating my diabolical plan to even the playing field,” writes former Little Rock resident Mark Halbert. “All of this being based on some irrational hysteria that all self-respecting golfers only play rounds for the purpose of increasing, not decreasing, their handicap.”

Voyles, who now signs e-mails as “V” in anticipation of his fifth championship, responds: “You’ll have to play big-boy golf. You’ll need to reach deep inside, find your intestinal fortitude and try not to choke this year.  You’re no doubt used to handouts, being from Mississippi, but this ain’t welfare. It’s straight up Possum Golf where talk is frequent but cheap.”

Naturally, what happens on a golf trip stays at the destination. Some groups are laid back and retire early to recover from 36 holes of golf, while others play hard day and night.

Cracking Under Pressure

Golf trip groups are merciless toward players who crack under the pressure to win the tournament.

Take the case of Jeff Clifton of Rogers in Golfapalooza one year, when he uncharacteristically had a disastrous round of 113. A participant asked, “How in the world did you shoot a 113?” His playing partner, Little Rock accountant Johnny Tollett, responded: “How did he shoot a 113? He didn’t count all his strokes.”

Then there was former Little Rock resident Tom Watson, who reached the final hole of Golfapalooza in a tie for the lead and managed to put his final approach on No. 18 at Isabella in the pond 30 yards short of the green as the rest of the gang watched and cackled.

The winner of the Possum Classic returns home to tell his wife that they also won the responsibility of hosting a champion’s dinner for the entire group and their spouses. But that’s not as simple as it sounds because the group has a history of discovering scoring errors during the drive home. Just because a player receives the trophy and houndstooth jacket after the final round doesn’t mean he won’t get a cell phone call an hour later saying he’s been pencil-whipped.

Such are the tales of the golf trip.

(Jeff Hankins is publisher of ArkansasSports360.com and president of Arkansas Business Publishing Group. He’s been known to play bad golf on a golf trip or two. Send him tales and photos of your golf trip for consideration in next year’s edition of Executive Golfer by e-mail to jhankins@abpg.com.)

Inspirational Words of a Golf Trip Champion

“Perhaps the day will come when others can join the Champions Circle and become enlightened as to the utter insignificance of the trinkets (money clips, toy trucks, old-man hats, etc.).

"For there is only one prize worth having as a Possum, and that is the Mighty Possum Champion Trophy.  Long after the imitation gold rubs off the money clip, and those plastic knobs break off the band adjustment on the old man cap, the Possum Trophy will remain with the names permanently engraved for children and grandchildren to admire. 

You have to ask yourself: Is my name there? Will it ever be? The time is now upon you to do a gut check (except for Jonesy – his is gone… replaced by six-pack abs), and decide if this will be your year to drink the sweet nectar that is the Possum Championship, or will you again be arguing over who gets the toy truck, imitation gold money clip and old man cap. 10 days to get a game, and a stomach. You can buy the game at www.TGW.com. The stomach is another thing altogether. 

Looking forward to our time of fellowship and sharing.”

– Three-time Possum Classic champion Jeff Voyles

Golfapalooza Scoring Formulan

                                π±/3(X) + 2(Y) + 5(Z)
Score = Gross Score -                 10              + A-B : cos-1 (C) + D

X = USGA Index
Y = Yahoo Index
Z = Chairman’s Equalizer Handicap
A = Age
B = ACT Score
C = # of children
D = Previous Championships Won

Golf Trip Destination Ideas

√ Old Waverly Golf Club in West Point, Miss.
√ Robert Trent Jones Golf Trail in Alabama.
√ Bear Trace in Tennessee.
√ Hot Springs Village.
√ Dancing Rabbit Golf Club in Philadelphia, Miss.
√ The Links at Cottonwoods and Tunica National in Tunica, Miss.
√ Gulfport-Biloxi, Miss., area.
√ Mobile-Gulfshores, Ala., area.
√ Pinehurst, N.C., Resort

Note: Old Waverly is private and Hot Springs Village requires property owner access; all others are open to the public or accessible by reserving accommodations at the resort.

Getting Psyched for the Golf Trip
Possum Classic participant Mark Halbert’s correspondence regarding his anticipation of a spring golf trip:

√ Looking forward to my first round of golf since October.
√ Converting my awesome rounds on the Wii to real life.
√ Playing well early, then really bad, and then just good enough to be mediocre.
√ Notwithstanding the above, beating Al again in match play.
√ Wishing I could dress like Lorio.
√ Trying to remind myself that Voyles really isn’t 60 years old, it’s just his swing.
√ Getting beat by a 60-year-old smoker.
√ Getting three strokes on Barry.
√ Giving three strokes back to Barry.
√ Giddy up Jones.
√ Quietly being pummeled by the unflappable Snider.
√ Beating Hankins to the green and losing the hole.
√ Barry’s forecast means no “Cart Path Only.”
√ Shrimp burrito.