Your first day on the job. You have three objectives.

(Ladies, please indulge this very male perspective.)

  1. Identify the sports/Hog fans.
  2. Determine just how late you can comfortably saunter in.
  3. If there's more than one men's room, find the best "fit."

Gentlemen, welcome to your career.

Ha. We kid. But there is a science to settling in at a new workplace. Obviously you don't want to be branded as either the slacker or the suck-up. Men's Health tackles this topic in its September issue. Things here in the South may be a little more laid back than the scenarios played out in the article, but it's an interesting read and potentially helpful nonetheless.

The highlights:

  • Pace your commentary. Learn the ropes in attentive silence.
  • Find your enemies. Know your friends from your enemies and your potential friends from potential enemies.
  • And don't pick fights with them. Don't pick fights you're not sure you can win.
  • Scare up some humility. Even if you're not a humble person, act like one until you're established.
  • Study the patterns. Pay attention to when people show up in the morning; find out who stays late and why.
  • Find your turf. Find gaps in the infrastructure that you can fill. Be the guy who volunteers to visit the Toledo client when nobody else is willing.
  • Have some fun. Hang out with the guys who like to have fun. One of them may end up being a valuable ally.