InArkansas.com

Image by Natalie Ghidotti

Just one of the many bookshelves in my children's rooms. They are blessed to be surrounded by many books that can take them on amazing adventures.

 "In the end, there is no program or policy that can substitute for a mother or father who will attend those parent/teacher conferences, or help with homework after dinner, or turn off the TV, put away the video games, and read to their child."

- President Barack Obama, Address to Joint Session of Congress, Feb. 24, 2009

This week’s Snowmageddon has reminded me how truly awful “screen time” can be in our house. In fact, as I write this, I have a 5-year-old on the computer and a 2-year-old in front of the TV, and now they’re fighting over playing a game on the phone.

At this moment, we’re the perfect picture of what not to do with your children. But, I promise, it’s not always like that. We read and play board games as much as possible, but it’s not always easy. Turning on the TV and popping in a Disney movie is much easier, especially when there is laundry to do, clients to be called, and blog posts to be written. But when we take the time to turn off the TV, open a book and read, I can see an immediate difference in my kids. Not only do they love to hear the story, they love curling up beside us, getting much needed mommy or daddy time.

Even though snow days may be less-than-perfect parenting days around here, we make sure that reading is part of our daily routine. For us, that means bedtime reading each night. We have done this since both children were infants, and it’s truly a special time. On the rare nights that we go straight to bed with no book, everyone notices. There’s something missing from the day!

I’m guessing that this scenario is pretty typical for most everyone reading this blog. You, like us, probably have shelves filled with all kinds of interesting books and favorite bedtime stories. But did you know that less than half (44 percent) of Arkansas children are read to every day? In fact, the daily reading rates for non-white children in Arkansas is the lowest in the nation.

Nationally, more than 13 million children under age 5 go to bed every night without a bedtime story. The percentage of children read to daily drops even lower (to 36 percen) among low-income families, whose children face the highest risk of literacy problems. Even among high-income families, however, more than 2 out of every 5 children are not read to daily.

Parents aren’t reading aloud to their children because of several reasons -- mainly economic (families living in poverty lack the money to buy new books and don't have access to libraries) and a time reason (with so many demands on them, parents are often struggling to carve out the time to sit and read a favorite book with their child).

Image by Fort Worth Star-Telegram

My friend, Kerri, over at Damn You Little Rock said it best – New Year’s is like the Friday before opening day of football season: we’re all undefeated. And so are my beloved TCU Horned Frogs, who are Rose Bowl Champs! And if you’re wondering … yes, this was just a cheap move to somehow get my Frogs into this blog post.

Isn’t it appropriate that my first blog post since September will be about things I want to do better? I guess blogging for this website should be somewhere on the list (Editors Karen and Lance would appreciate that). Honestly, I have been meaning to share so many thoughts here over the past few months. I promise, there’s all sorts of great blog posts in my head; I just have to figure out how to make time for them to actually appear on this page!

So I’ll start with this New Year’s Resolution post. Yes, it’s a cliche, but it’s also a great way to get these thoughts on paper and have some accountability for them.

2010 was a good year for me, my family and my business, but we can all strive to be better. Here’s what I’d like to make happen in 2011:

Talk in a softer voice with my kids. I’m pretty positive that the louder my voice gets, the more my kids have no desire to do what I’m asking. As much as I’ll struggle with this, I’m really going to try and kill them with kindness. According to a whole host of books I’ve been reading on parenting, this is a pretty successful way of doing things. I have nothing to lose and only well-behaved kids to gain, so I’m giving it a shot.

Travel, travel, travel. When we have discretionary funds, we choose to spend them on traveling. We’ve been blessed to be able to go to many places over the years, and I hope to continue that. I drive an old Honda Pilot. We have countertops that aren’t the prettiest, but I’m fine with that because we’re sharing many happy memories with our kids. Some of my best memories of growing up were from vacations with my parents. I want the same for my kids.

Spend more alone time with my husband. We have two young kids who have karate classes and birthday parties to attend. We have busy careers and family obligations. But that shouldn’t keep us from finding time for each other. I resolve to institute date night and spend time with just my husband. And I’m going to try really, really hard to not include my iPhone.

Keep my e-mail inbox at less than 50. If you’ve been on my computer at any point in my life, you know that this is one of those resolutions that, if met, will require fireworks, a champagne toast and dancing in the streets. I’m not even going to admit to how many messages are in my inbox right now. If I did, you might faint. But let it be said that I’m going to get this inbox cleaned out, and will keep it cleaned out, even if it kills me, which is highly likely.

Gallery by Natalie Ghidotti

A look at Little Bear's adventures.

I’m not ashamed to admit that for the past two days I’ve been crying about a five-inch tall stuffed animal named Little Bear.

You see, Little Bear is lost. I’m not sure if he’s riding the Grand Exposition Coaster at Silver Dollar City, hiding in a corner at the Farmhouse Restaurant or exploring the toy aisle at Dick’s 5 & 10 store. Little Bear went with us to Branson this past weekend like he does on any vacation or short trip we take. I was devastated to learn on Monday night after unpacking that he didn’t make it back with us.

Little Bear has been a part of our lives as long as my 5-year-old son has been. Little Bear was one of those baby shower gifts that you envision ending up in a pile of barely played with items that eventually find their way to Goodwill. But Little Bear ended up being special. He was the one (out of what seems like hundreds of stuffed animals) that always slept on the pillow next to Nate. He was the one that rode along in the car. He was the one that wiped Nate’s tears after he fell. He was the one stuffed in a backpack on the first day of school.

Little Bear quickly became a fixture around our home. Even our 2-year-old learned to ask, “Do we have Little Bear?” before leaving the house.

As Nathan has gotten older, Little Bear has stayed home more. Sometimes days will go by without anyone knowing where Little Bear is -- or even thinking about him. And during those rare times when we just couldn’t put a finger on where he was, Little Bear was “taking a vacation.” But Little Bear always tends to show up when you most need him. And he certainly always takes vacations with the rest of the family.

It’s Tuesday night, and Nathan hasn’t asked about Little Bear. I’m sure he assumes that he made it back here with us and is hanging out on the top bunk or in the living room or in any number of Little Bear hiding places. He doesn’t know that Little Bear is lost and alone, and the thought of that about rips my heart out every time I think about it.

Jason called every place we could think of in Branson today. He even sent a picture of Little Bear to several places so that they would know what they were looking for. I still have hope that someone will find our Little Bear and help him get back home. If not, I’m not sure what we’ll do. I have a feeling Nathan might be able to get past this. Me? I’m not so sure. Little Bear is much more than a stuffed animal. He is a reflection of the past five years – the innocence, tenderness and amazing growth of our firstborn.

Little Bear, you’re desperately wanted home. Please find a way to get here. I’m not sure what this mommy will do if you don’t.

The iPhone can be a helpful tool for parents. 

Remember when you used to mark your child’s growth in pencil on the kitchen door frame? That’s so 2005. Today, there’s an app for that. And apps to predict your best chance of conceiving, record your nursing schedule and graph your baby’s diaper changes. You can put your child in timeout, find the nearest public bathroom and keep track of your child’s medication -- all from the palm of your hand.

Welcome to the world of iParenting. The iPhone isn’t just a must-have accessory for 20-something professionals anymore. It’s a digital diaper bag, stuffed with ways to spruce up, streamline and drag the ancient art of parenting into the new decade.

'If you can make a parent’s life even a little bit easier, that’s huge,' says Ken Denmead, a technology blogger for Wired magazine and author of a new book on family-friendly tech projects. 'And if you can do it in a way that’s both cool and convenient, that’s even better. The iPhone does just that. You’re looking at the next generation of parenting tools.'

Read the full article from August edition of Little Rock Family here.

Gallery by Natalie Ghidotti

Scenes from our family trip to the Great Smoky Mountains.

When I see birches bend left and right … I like to think some boy’s been swinging them. – Robert Frost

My husband and I just got back from a wonderful vacation visiting friends in Knoxville and spending some time in the Great Smoky Mountains. We took our 5-year-old and 2-year-old to the national park and showed them such treasures as Cades Cove and Clingman’s Dome, the highest point in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park and the highest point in Tennessee.

While there, I picked up a book that looked interesting, Last Child in the Woods by Richard Louv. Little did I know that this book created a huge national movement and initiative when it was first published in 2005. It focuses on what Louv calls nature-deficit disorder, which, unfortunately, most of the children in our country have.

'Our children are the first generation to be raised without meaningful contact with the natural world.'

Louv’s book sets the stage for how it’s come to be that our children have little to no experience with nature and the outdoors. He goes on to cite plenty of research that proves our mental, physical and spiritual health is directly associated with nature -- in positive ways. The book finishes with a field guide for parents, educators and policy makers on how to get children back outside (and not just for a few minutes here and there).

I’ve only just begun reading the book and already it has struck a chord. We recently moved from Little Rock’s midtown area to way out west past Pinnacle Mountain. Where there’s room to play. Where we see lots of green. Where at night we see stars,  beautiful and bright. Where we chase fireflies and examine all sorts of bugs who live among us. Where our kids can roam the woods surrounding our home and get lost in their own world.

I will fully admit that I was terrified of this move. We have been midtown people for a long time. Our life (school, church, work, friends) really doesn’t go past Mississippi Street. So to move to a place where my address isn’t even Little Rock was something I thought would never happen. But on a Sunday drive back from visiting Jason’s grandparents, we stumbled upon this house and land and fell in love.

I haven’t regretted the move one bit. Mainly because of this: My children play outdoors now. They ride their bikes, collect rocks and sticks and blow bubbles for hours outside. I was scared to death that none of our friends would make the trek out to visit us. I was wrong. Our friends love coming out here and letting the kids run around. Even though it’s 100 degree outside, we all want to be outside. There’s something about being among all the trees and smelling fresh-cut grass and hearing the laughter of kids running wild and free.

And sitting outside at night is like a new experience. We see stars. We talk about the constellations and point them out and challenge each other to find the hard ones.

We have reconnected with nature! And it’s made a huge difference in our lives. I know that sounds like I’m exaggerating, but being surrounded by nature has affected us in positive ways -- exactly how Louv says it does.

'For children, nature comes in many forms. A newborn calf; a pet that lives and dies; a worn path through the woods; a fort nested in stinging nettles; a damp, mysterious edge of a vacant lot – whatever shape nature takes, it offers each child an older, larger world separate from parents. Unlike television, nature does not steal time; it amplifies it. Nature offers healing for a child living in a destructive family or neighborhood. It serves as a blank slate upon which a child draws and reinterprets the culture’s fantasies. Nature inspires creativity in a child by demanding visualization and the full use of the senses. Given a chance, a child will bring the confusion of the world to the woods, wash it to the creek, turn it over to see what lives on the unseen side of that confusion. Nature can frighten a child, too, and this fright serves a purpose. In nature, a child finds freedom, fantasy, and privacy: a place distant from the adult world, a separate peace.'

When I was a kid, our neighborhood wasn’t entirely developed like it was when my youngest siblings were kids. There were woods to explore that offered adventures for hours on end. I had a special place that I loved to go. It was tucked way back in the woods and harbored a bent tree that created a natural swing, big enough for numerous kids (though I didn’t ever share my secret spot with them).

I visited my swing almost every day, often taking a book with me and enjoying the peace and quiet and shelter of the trees. I vividly remember the day my swing was torn down, along with all of the woods surrounding it. New homes were being built, and the woods around us quickly vanished. At the time, I told myself it didn’t really matter. I had grown older and hadn’t visited my swing near as frequently. But that day I felt a great loss, like a good friend had died and I didn’t get the chance to say goodbye.

That’s one reason I agreed to move way out west. I want my children to have space to connect with nature, to go exploring on their own, to find special spots only they know about, to imagine, to play and to reflect. It’s why we went to the Great Smokies and why we have plans to visit many more of our national parks.

Children who don’t experience nature won’t grow up to cherish or protect it.

Maybe when our moms told us to go outside and play, it wasn’t just to get us out of their hair. They were on to something much bigger.

Nearly 50 percent of the children (age 14 and under) hospitalized for bicycle, in-line skating and skateboarding-related injuries are diagnosed with a brain injury. Wearing a helmet can help prevent such injuries.

I'll admit that when I was first assigned to this story, I didn't believe the subject was pressing enough for a full-length feature. Within minutes of beginning my research, my attitude changed.

Pro-helmet websites and testimonials from parents across the country revealed the serious nature of this subject, reminding me -- and hopefully you -- just how critical helmets are for children and teens as they head outside for summer activities on their bikes, ATVs, skateboards, rollerblades and scooters.

My story in the July issue of Little Rock Family reveals some of the consequences that can come of not enfocing a helmet rule in your household and tips from the Arkansas Children's Hospital's Injury Prevention Center that'll teach you how to get your child to wear his or her helmet - and how to choose a helmet that fit properly.

Here are some brief stats  ...

• Only 15 percent of children 0-14 wear helmets when they ride in the U.S.
• Universal helmet use by children 0-14 could prevent up to 294 deaths and up to 529,000 injuries annually.
• 2,200 of the children who sustain bike-related head injuries will suffer permanent disabilities.
• Head injuries accounted for 63 percent of bicycle fatalities in 2008; 75 percent of these fatalities were a result of collisions with motor vehicles.

Convinced yet? I know I am.

Last week was a total blur. I was coming off a full week of wedding festivities for my youngest sister and trying to play catchup with work and life. Then the stomach bug hit our house. It started with me, moved to my 5-year-old and ended the week with my husband and 2-year-old.

Last Thursday we decided the 5-year-old was cured and ready to head back to school. Jason was still dealing with symptoms but had made it into work. It was one of those mornings where nothing wanted to go right. Whining kids, important items left at home, e-mails assaulting me before the crack of dawn. You know -- one of those mornings.

By the grace of God, Nate, Corinne and I somehow made it into the car with everything we needed to get the day started. We were halfway to daycare when Nate became sick. Not a little, but a lot. All over the car and in tiny crevices barely seen by the naked eye. I think I made an illegal U-turn in the road. I’m almost sure of it.

I turned a 10-minute ride into a 5-minute ride with all the windows down to a) air the car out and b) somewhat drown out the high-pitched screaming the 2-year-old was making after realizing she was not fond of the smell either. I called my husband to meet me at the house because I was still trying to make a meeting that started 10 minutes ago. Luckily, the meeting was with a fellow working mom with young children who understands chaotic mornings. I called, gave her the gory details and moved the meeting 45 minutes.

Once home, I quickly gave Nate a bath, cleaned my car out and started a load of laundry. As soon as Jason arrived, I headed back out with Corinne to daycare and eventually my meeting. But Corinne had other plans. She had gotten a taste of staying home and playing with Nate and Daddy. She had no plans to go to daycare – or at least without putting up one heck of a fight.

I’m not really sure how to describe the next 10 minutes of this journey. It was an assault on the senses that I really don’t care to ever experience again. All I could smell was vomit, while all I could hear were blood-curtling screams coming from my 2-year-old. In the middle of this, I got a text from my working mom friend, Heather, with whom I was to discuss PR efforts for her new product line. She understood I'm trying to be all things to all people, and very graciously, gave me an out.

At that moment, I knew God was telling me to abandon ship, turn the car around and focus on my family. My kids and my husband needed my attention more than any project that day. That’s easy to type, but it was a terrible internal conflict for me. I don’t like disappointing people, but for some reason, up until that point, it had been easy for me to disappoint the three most important people in my life.

There have been too many times where I’ve picked work, volunteer gigs or something else over my family’s needs. As much as I tried to put other things first on Thursday, someone wasn’t having it. I left my briefcase in the car, hung up my suit, threw on a T-shirt and set out to make things right that day.

I spent the day getting my family well and rested. We napped, played outside, watched a movie – basically did a whole lot of nothing. But doing nothing was exactly what my family needed. We needed a rest, and my kids needed my attention and the comfort of their own house. So I stayed put.

I’m not going to lie -- it was stressful dropping everything and not checking e-mail every five seconds. I had a nagging feeling that something was going to go terribly wrong if I didn’t check in. But nothing did, and I learned a lesson about priorities and when to say when.

I’m not super-human. Luckily, my kids and other working moms are there to remind me when I start thinking I can be in two places at once.

"I'll get you, my pretty … and your little dog too!" – Wicked Witch of the West

In anticipation of The Wizard of Oz at Robinson Center Music Hall June 21–23, Little Rock Family is proud to present its 2010 Cutest Pet Contest.

The top 10 photos will be published in the July edition of Little Rock Family magazine.

The top two winners will receive a family four-pack to opening night of The Wizard of Oz courtesy of Little Rock Family and Celebrity Attractions.

Upload a picture of your pet and spread the word to family and friends via Twitter, Facebook and e-mail. Official voting begins June 1. The two pictures with the most votes by June 15 will win!

Sponsored by Little Rock Family and Celebrity Attractions.